I know that everyone has had that conversation with friends, or whoever, and to paraphrase “if I could do it over again!” phrase comes up. Then the conversation turns into all sorts of the shoulda, coulda, wouldas. Well, that phrase sparked this blog.
Those words resonate throughout my mind, body, and soul daily. If I could give my younger self some advice my life would be completely different. So this letter is to her, the young adult me…
To: The Younger me
From: A Wise Yet Older Self
Time: 8:02 pm
Location: Sitting Up In My Room
Reason: Advice (Because, WE need it!)
Song: Foolish by Ashanti
Hey girl! I’m sitting here in the bed reflecting on my life at the age of 35. I know that I haven’t been perfect but baby I am a work in progress. I know you’re thinking, “why is she writing me?” I’m writing you to leave you with some things that I wish I would’ve known when I was younger. It probably would of saved me from a lot of heartache, disappointment, resentment, and money.
The first thing that I want to tell you is to be honest, in all situations, but specifically when dealing with the male species. Be sure to communicate what you want because they are not mind readers. They need to know if you want a relationship, want to be friends with benefits, or simply just not interested. If you meet a guy and you determine that you and said guy want different things from each other go your separate ways but remain friends. We want stability at the end of the day. So, don’t waste your time in situations that will make you unstable. It has been my experience that they usually don’t come around and I end up with wasted time and feelings.
With honesty comes forgiveness. In situations, have to learn to forgive others, as well as yourself. You cannot hold on to resentment, anger, or bitterness because it does nothing but fester negative emotions that resonate onto others. And believe me no one wants to be around a negative person. Don’t get me wrong when you feel as if you’ve been wrong or betrayed those negative emotions occur but you have to let them go, eventually.
Forgive yourself for decisions you make as an individual. You! You are your own worst enemy. You are your own worst critic. It’s okay to make a poor decision, sometimes. It’s okay if a relationship doesn’t work because without those experiences evolution doesn’t occur. So, forgive yourself! It’s part of growing.
Also, when you do enter relationships you have to continue the honesty. Communicate what you want and when you want it. You can’t regret what your relationship lacks if you aren’t communicating what you need from it. He will not know what you want if you don’t tell him, whether it’s subliminal or direct.
Remember, to PROTECT THE PEARL. It holds a lot of power. Every man isn’t worthy of it. THAT SIMPLE! When it’s good it can become a huge distraction for what really isn’t there. So, choose wisely and keep that body count low.
Although the credit is still good, it can always be better. I know at your age you’re thinking that I will have the rest of my life to worry about buying a house or getting a new car because right now you’re only thinking about living your best life! Which is important but we will grow to understand that credit reins supreme. So with that being said keep those credit card balances low. We don’t really need a different outfit every time that we go out. Hard to imagine but we don’t. But the trips you could be taking would be priceless in the end. So, create memories that will last forever when those clothes have gone out of style.
Don’t forget to pay yourself first! Save! Save! Save! Take your money off the top and put it in savings. Goals will be accomplished sooner rather than later. It’s nothing worse than wanting to do something or go somewhere and not having the money. Listen to me when I say this, stay away from the students loans! Be wise when taking all that money from the government because I have to pay it back. Research scholarships and grants, please!
A season, a reason, and a lifetime! Real friends come into your life for a reason, during a season when you need them the most, but they are there for a lifetime. Real friends last longer than the Law & Order: SVU series. Even though, you might not talk to them everyday because adulting will get in the way just know that they will be there whenever you need them.
The most important advice that I want to leave you with is DRINK PLENTY OF WATER! Appreciate the skin and the body that you are living in because 15 years later I’ll be begging to have it back. Everything is not as tight and right like it used to be but I’m working on fitter me!
Well talk to you later! I’m about to get ready for the work day tomorrow and then get some rest.